Benefits of quitting cannabis

Hello everybody. Well, this is it, I finally took my prized bong out to the woodshed, put it on the chopping block and smashed it to pieces. Where do I start with this? Smoked a joint when I was 18, hated it and thought I was going to die of a drug overdose (didn't know that was impossible then). Had another try about 6 months later (why???) and enjoyed it. That was 17 years ago and while I have had numerous periods of non-smoking or smoking very little I...well to cut a long story short I now wish I'd stopped after that first j.

As I said, I've had a number of times when I smoked "sensibly" but always seem to end up back here wishing I'd never touched the stuff. I like to think of myself as being sensible, rational, honest with myself as well as others so always come to the conclusion that in a simple cost/benefit analysis it takes a lot more than it gives. So often though, and I have a feeling this pattern may be quite common after a few weeks I feel a certain dullness/ depression and have a tiny toke. and each time I feel this surge of energy and enthusiasm and perhaps an increased awareness of the possibilities of life. And usually swear to myself that this time I'll keep the smoke under control. But, as I guess is evident from the fact that I'm here it valways seems to get the better of me. This is gonna sound real cheesy but it always has me thinking of that line from the Godfather that Silvio on Sopranos likes to quote; "just when I thought I was out -they pull me back in".

So, for me this has to be total. I've tried to this enough that I feel I am fairly aware of the pitfalls. I hope this doesn't appear self-indulgent, I can ramble on but I have a feeling that the act of "verbalising" these before I experience them might make me stronger in my resolve, and i would be interested to know if any other "quitters" out theremight feel the same.

1) I feel like such an idiot! How could I let this happen, how did I get to this point, why didn't I learn my lesson years ago, how did I waste all this time. I think for me this pattern of self-loathing is the most difficult part of giving upand the biggest obstacle to quitting, at least for the first few days. This constant going over in my mind of certain moments when I could have stopped but didn't. And you know what the easiest solution is- to grab that bong.

One thing, an idea that I find just makes me feel appalled with myself is the possibility that i don't even enjoy being stoned/high. This is a really hard to stomach, but I have this niggling feeling that I was attracted to this drug, oh shit this is so lame, not too be cool exactly but... I don't know, perhaps I got a kick out of the fact that I was breaking a taboo. I mean I'm not going to lie, there were times when smoking was really enjoyable but i think thge social aspects- having this thing in common with people, a certain kind of tribal membership has been a greater reinforcer of the habit than the chemical effect. Perhaps it has to do with that transition from teenage to adulthood a nd search for identity etc. A week ago , at the same time as I discovered this site I bought a copy of "The joy of quitting Cannabis" and the author approaches pot in a similar way to Allen Carr's easy way to quit smoking. I don't smoke cigarettes but had a friend that did and quit thanks to Carr and was constantly evangelising about it. The guts of it is that smoking, rather than making you feel better creates a sort of chemical dependency which can only be relieved by taking more of the chemical.

This is getting to be quite a long post son i will try to finish but one thing that occurs to me is that in comparison to other types of addictive behaviour, being a cannabis quitter is quite lonely. On the one side you have "the establishment" that has been telling you all along that the stuff is bad bad bad and on the other you have the cannabis community, pop culture, and friends/ associates that will say that weed is harmless or close to it (often in comparison to our favourite legal drug). And the pro's have lots of good points, they are so familiar that I don't have to repeat them. But theres also the fact that cannabis lends itself to being permanently f'd up in a way that Alcohol doesn't; low or non-existent cost, it's "chronic effect" and the fact that one can function (sort of) better stoned than drunk> For example in my most recent job it was possible to smoke weed from dawn till dusk picking apples and still earn a living, to drink booze all day would be a lot more difficult.

And one last thought, something I have been telling myself repeatedly since the decision to quit- the benefits of not smoking take a while to fully materialise, for me it might be months, years> i mean there are certain short term benefits; increased energy, healthier feeling lungs but I suspect that other benefits, like just having a more "real" functional life take longer. I think it's really important to be aware of that one because the smoke provides an instantaneous relief and this seems to really tilt the odds in weeds favour sometimes. Oh well enough from me, time to get some firewood and walk the dog., 

P.S 

Was so pleased to find this site, then when I finally finished this and tried to submit it said it was down and then after a while it said the domain had been sold and to check in 48 hours. Hopefully it works this time as a quick google for quitting cannabis only turned up th e same old, as alluded to earlier- the Reagan style just say no lot and the people saying anything you like e.g chocolate cake can be addictive and a you-tube of Cal Williams. Which, when you are in my position is always sort of unhelpful< like am I really that pathetic??

Well, coming up to three weeks, just that one little slip-up last week. Actually feel worse depression-regret wise than earlier on. But I guess theres no way of knowing whether thats a direct result of quitting or just more of the normal yo-yo ness of my moods. One thing is for sure though, and I can say this knowing that I'm not b-s ing myself for an excuse to smoke- if I had a toke I would feel better. I need to take a longer term view and hope that things will improve over time. It took a long time to go downhill to this point so gotta expect it will take a while to go up again. I'm pleased I destroyed the last of my gear, for the first couple of weeks I got some kind of ego-kick from having it sitting on the coffee table without touching it but now I figure, you know you can be strong 99 % of the time but if its right there then that 1% can just mess things up. Guess I'm fortunate in that where I live its not like I've got a dealer across the hall or over the road. 

It will get better , believe me if it didn't I wouldn't have stayed quit...and yay I don't think of doing it anymore,,,oh there are times I may smell it and think hmmmm but I know if I have just one toke I'll be right back where I started, and where I started was wishing so badly to be where I am today, and that is just over one year pot free !!!

Hello Chris,

I am the author of the book you mention in your account of your very difficult experience with stopping cannabis. Acutally the guts of the book as you put it is not about proving cannabis is addictive but showing there is no genuine pleasure or advantages. Should you wish to contact me you are very welcome to do so. I note that not only did you not accept the advice in the book you stopped under your own steam and failed again - I stopped 17 years ago now and I have not been tempted for a single second of that time and I have helped thousands and thousands of people to stop with the same ease and joy. I am sure I can help you too. Seeing as you've already bought the book my follow up service is absolutley free.Feel free to contact me.

well done chris 9 days ago i put my pipe and weed grinder in a vice and destroyed them id like to say its getting easier but to be honest im crawling the walls and having the most realistic nightmares ive ever had and i am snapping at family family and friends, but i will say i can breath a bit better sense of smell and taste already beginning to return and i have a bit more energy so i will be doing my best to stick with it. Best of luck mate

This is Wonderful Chris , You sound like you're really getting there .   I am following your story , and can relate to almost every word of your opening post .

Keep doing what you're doing , and I'm sure your story will become an inspiration for others hoping to join us on the weed free train !