Benefits of quitting cannabis

Six months has gone by and apart from a minor slip in December (and only a minor slip, which I've decided doesn't count) I consider myself to be a success story.

The benefits I have experienced:

1. More money.

2. Not taking risks growing the stuff, and putting other people at risk.

3. Not driving around with an ounce in the glove box, paranoid about being stopped.

4. I have a job (and one I could never have done, and enjoyed, if I were smoking).

5. I am trying to start a business.

6. The paranoia in my relationships with others is drastically reduced.

7. Hugely increased productivity.

8. Better sleep.

9. Less anger.

10. Less regret and dwelling on the past.

11. I no longer feel like a druggie loser.

12. I am optimistic about finding a relationship.

13. I am more assured of my own value.

14. I am no longer paralysed with fear of the things that bother me.

15. I no longer get incontrollable manic thoughts (which usually used to dwell on negative things).

16. I no longer feel suicidal.

17. I no longer wake up in the morning with a sore throat like I've been swallowing barbed wire after smoking the night before.

18. I am clear in my head, in thinking and planning.

19. I am far more honest with myself.  I no longer have to try to avoid facing the shame that I feel at my endless self indulgance in smoking.

20. I can acknowledge the mistakes that I have made, and I can move on and focus on the future, not on regret about the past.

21. I am more clearheaded.

22. I no longer risk my life and other's by being stoned while driving.

23. It no longer restricts my sexual performance.

24. I am no longer exposed to any health risks associated with smoking and the carcinogines it contains.

25. I no longer feel any desire to indulge in any other (probably more harmful) drugs.

26. I no longer feel that self-disgust when scrabbling in the bin and ashtray to recycle old butts when I run out of the stuff and panic.

27. I no longer have that resigned kind of weary self loathing I feel when I roll another one, not because I want it, not because it'll do anything for me, but just out of self weakness for which I hate myself.

28. I feel fantastic that after all these years of harm and self delusion I have finally admitted that I have a problem and I have fixed it.

29. Quitting is a huge thing for me, my self esteem has been boosted by this acheivement.

I've probably repeated myself, and I could probably list more and more.

I suppose the only potential draw back has been how agitated I've felt recently.  But then my life has gone from doing very little to all of a sudden I've got lots and lots of things to do, so it doesn't really seem that I get a real chance to relax.

Today is Sunday and I should feel no obligation to do anything, I should be able to just sit back and do something pleasurable and of no conseqeunce.  But I don't seem to be able to do that and I am feeling that I should do a bit of work on something more useful.

I doubt that that is to do with quitting smoking, it's more to do with the fact that since I have quit I have a lot to catch up on and so my life is just so chaotic.  I hope for some stability and tranquility at somepoint soon.

It is a sign of a good thing, that I am catching up, that I am moving on.  For me my life has been so off-course that now I have to work very hard to try and bring it back online.  But at least I have started to do this, and the sooner I start, the sooner things will get better.

If I hadn't quit, my life and myself would have been nothing for ever, so at least now I have a chance of happines, even though at the moment my happiness is skin deep, I can at least hope for more, hope for more than another evening of oblivion, stoned, semi-conscious and hiding from life.

Hi James

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...

I need this kind of inspiration today. I don't know why but I have started to hit that wall with the quit and doubting that I have picked the right time to do it. I think that is down to the fear of spending the rest of my life without weed... it is a stupid fear because I know really my life will be infinitely better without it but as soon as I imagine a future without weed in it I panic and want some NOW. I confess I have been thinking of calling my dealer today, but I know deep down that will not lead to anything good.

That is one hell of a list James. I don't think you repeated yourself but there is most definitely a theme. I think the biggest gain from quitting has got to be that return of self esteem. For so long I have felt bad about myself, calling myself stupid for ever starting smoking, calling myself weak for going back to it, and those general paranoid feelings that everyone can see I am a loser and why would anyone want me? All that I can do without. I still have many of those self loathing feelings but I know now, thanks to you, that all that will go. For me that is a bigger reward than having more money or better physical health (not that those aren't great rewards too!!). I hope I dont have to wait 6 months to feel that good... I know on my quit last summer I made it to 2.5 months and I felt a lot more like the old me, the me that loved life and loved myself properly before I discovered drugs. I felt almost like a carefree child again. It is easy to forget that when you start smoking again isn't it? It all gets pushed to the back of your mind  - there is no room at the front of your mind because you are preoccupied with scoring and smoking weed.

Thanks again James, I think I will read this list every time I start to feel down about the quit. I know there will be good days and bad days and I just have to find a tool to get through the bad ones. This will be a big help.

Love Weedless xx

hi WW,

I suppose that around the 2 month mark was around the time that things started turning around.  I think it's perhaps important at that time to try and change your life somehow, to try and take advantage of your success and move on.  If your routines change, then it might be less likely that you might relapse.

As regards the self-esteem issue, I think that one thing that really ate away at me was the simple fact that I knew YEARS ago that I was an addict, that it was doing me harm, and that I should quit.

It's bad enough having a damaging drug habit, but it was made even worse as I was actually aware of that fact and yet kept avoiding facing it.  It takes a lot of energy to engage in such a high level of denial, to not face what is so obvious, to look away from the harm it is causing.

Back at the end of September last year, just before I quit, I finally managed to look at the evidence and finally admit to myself that I had a problem.

Although that was obviously upsetting, it was also in some sense a joyful and liberating experience.  To finally have the strength and courage to face this fact and deal with it, to run from it no longer.

It's hard to put into words really.  I think there was a sense of relief.  While admitting to yourself you are a drug addict may appear to be a bad thing, it isn't, because at least you're admitting it.  Maybe the good feelings came from the release of tension caused by years of looking away from that which was most obvious and yet most scary.

Hi James

Every time I read someones story on here I could be looking at my own life  - well my own addiction. The self esteem thing - yes, it was years ago that I first realised I had a problem but I refused for so long to talk about it, to think about it and would quite literally DENY I had a problem. Lying to anyone makes me feel bad, but lying to myself for so long I think is the reason I find it hard to love myself now. I know this will change.

I will take your advice re changing my life. Actually this is precisely what I did when I first quit last year. I got a new amazing job and started studying again. Unfortunately quite early on in my new job I went back to weed and am still trying to get that monkey off my back now. But there are other ways to change. I have said it a few posts ago and done nothing yet but I really need to get back in to the gym. I know this always makes me feel good when I bother to go if only I can find the motivation to get there. I joined an internet dating site this weekend to find a distraction but have actually decided that might not be a good idea - I need time just to be me and get myself together before putting myself out there (I learnt this yesterday after I fell out with a guy I met on there - not really his fault, my emotions are just not up to it!!!)

Thanks for being here James, it means so much to me - and for your post on my other thread. I feel 10 times better just for reading your words. I know I will get there and in 6 months time will be here for other people who are just starting out with my words of wisdom!! That is what I truly hope anyway.

Love Weedless Wench xxx

James - I hope you have some semblence of an idea of how really important you have been to my process - and that of many here.   Thank you for keeping us informed of your success and the changes in your life.  You're amazing.

LOVE

Grandma

I've noticed another big benefit that has become more apparent recently.

In all my years of smoking I have been absolutely awful with money management.  I fail to keep track of my incoming and outgoing money, I am slack in paying my bills on time, and I have run up not insubtantial (although not crippling) debts.

In the past I have simply been careless, spending money when I shouldn't, and when I do have some money coming in, not spending it on the priority things that I should have.

I don't consider it a coincidence that since quitting last October that has improved so much.  I have cut my expenditure to the bare essentials, I'm not spending on things I don't really need.

Probably most importantly  though I am working hard to reduce my debts, and I have managed to reduce them by a lot.

So:

30. Better money management skills.  Debt repayment.  A move towards greater financial security.

James, this makes a lot of sense to me. I messed up big time last week when I ended up scoring weed because it was not in my budget. I had only done my budget a week before but I subconsciously put this to the back of my mind once I had it in my head that I needed a smoke. It should not have come as such a shock when I ran out of money 10 days before pay day. When you are a stoner you know in the back of your mind you should be counting your incomings and outgoings but you deliberately don't because you know that if you LOOK at it, it will say you can't afford to buy weed, and when you are addicted, that is not an option. Once there is something you do not NEED to buy, you find you can make more rational decisions about spending and saving. I hope to finally pay my debts off now I'm clean and start putting some money away rather than living month to month, running out of money before pay day and praying something doesn't break/go wrong on the car etc!!! It makes life so stressful when you dont have a handle on your finances. So yeah, that is a GREAT one to add to the list!

Weedless xx