Benefits of quitting cannabis

Well here I go again! Starting the 4th attempt on Monday. Not much to say until I get going really. I have been here before and the main reason I am starting to write EARLY is to (hopefully) prevent me from changing my mind about the quit and to psyche myself up for it too. Today I am smoking and as usual before I start a quit attempt I spend the time in quiet comtemplation thinking about why I am doing it and what I have to gain by quitting. So here are some of the pros and cons I came up with:

Cons:

Memory loss

Fatigue and laziness

Cost - its is far too expensive

Fear - I am always scared of getting caught

Loss of self esteem

Lack of motivation to go out/socialise

It makes everything stink!

Poor communication/general cognitive functioning - it is having a profound effect on my ability to study at the moment

Weight gain due to munchies and not being arsed to cook properly

Time - seems to disappear when you indulge in weed, and you never get it back!

Pros:

It relieves boredom.

Funnily enough I struggle with the pros. I think it is because I am long past the illusion of enjoying it. I always say "I enjoy it" when pressed by non-smokers as to why I do it. But the truth is, I am many years past the enjoyment stage and when I analyse my feelings when I am smoking I know there is no fun or genuine enjoyment to it. Even when I smoke socially we are still just watching TV or playing computer games or whatever - the weed itself does not add to the enjoyment. I just do it because I am addicted, and the only way to get over addiction to doing something is to stop doing it!

There are way more cons I am sure but having just had a spliff I am struggling to think of them! I will add more I guess as the days go by and I get more in to my quit...

Wish me luck. I will post again once I am actually quit and let you know how I am getting on!

Weedless Wench x

That's a good list, and I agree, there really aren't that many pros. Even the biggest one for me, the way it allowed me to focus on one thing for many hours to complete a project, was just an illusion.. It might motivate me to stay up late to work on something, but I only ended up sleeping in the next day and wasting the morning a a fuzzy haze... really it just shifted my body clock back a few hours and I didn't gain anything at all..

You can do it... and if you're looking for a distraction through those angsty first couple of days.. I can heartily recommend cooking as a fun alternative... even going out and buying all the ingredients is fun.. and standing in the queue with a basket full of fresh ingredients whilst everyone else is loading up with ready meals and sweet unhealthy stuff provides a nice little self esteem boost..:)

Oh and it's cheaper too!

Love the list, weedless.  I could have written it myself.  . . addiction really try to trick us into believing that we really did enjoy ourselves while smoking.    Even as I am lying here wide awake at almost 2 a.m. (yesterday I stayed up till 5 then slept for a couple of hours) and wishing I had a smoke I have to really remind myself of all those 'cons'.

That's why the forum was so helpful to me before - it kept all of that in front of me - especially when someone new would come on and remind us all how truly miserable those first few days can be. 

Anyway - I'll be right here Monday morning to cheer you on.

We can do this.  I think I'm on day 5 this morning!

Tell me about your studies.  What degree are you working towards now? 

Wish all of you were closer so I could grow your vegetables for you.  I spent today planting potatoes, garlic, onions, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, broccoli and artichokes!

Mmm homegrown sounds great - veg that is!!

Not quit yet, got another 2 and a half spliffs to smoke this evening then I am all out of weed and tobacco. I've already told my dealer not to call or text me about new supplies coming in - I don't need any temptation now do I?

I do have that panic feeling I always get when I'm about to run out of weed. But I know that will be relatively short lived and I can learn to live without it again. I've done it before and I think it does get easier a few attempts down the line! In a way it also makes it easier to go back cuz you think, well I can always smoke now and quit again in a week. But by then you are back on the slippery slope, and it only goes one way...

So tomorrow I will wake up a non-toker. I will check in and let you know how it is going. Think I will read thru a few more posts to get me psyched up again!

Nighty night!

Weedless (almost!) xx

Day 1

Did I say this gets easier the more times you quit? I must've been stoned when I said that. Today I feel pants. It is not really surprising I guess. I slept badly last night, even though I was battered when I went to bed! I guess I knew I would awaken a non-smoker and that freaked me a bit.

I am feeling a bit sensitive. One minute I am like GRRRR I want to physically throw things or scream really loudly or beat the shit out of something, and the next minute I feel like I am going to cry. I had a bit of a crap meeting today and it shouldn't have bothered me really - part of my job is having crap meetings! - but I nearly cried everytime someone spoke to me this afternoon. Freak!

I know a lot of the problem is in my head. I think I subconsciously create things to be pissed off about, to give me an excuse to toke. I always get really mardy when I try to quit anything because I feel deprived. Then you start the cycle of 'today is not a good day, maybe smoke tonight and tomorrow when my life is perfect, that will be a better day to quit'. That is a losing battle that I have fought many times,  we all know life is stressful and waiting a day wont change that. I will find a new excuse to toke. Well not any more!  

So there, at least I have learnt something for all my previous quits! I know today's hurdle is nearly over and it gets easier every day, so long as you can sleep! Sleep, oh wonderful but elusive sleep. Luckily I have planned ahead and doubled my 5HTP dose today, and have some herbal sleep remedy from Tesco. Worth a bash I say! I know for me that is the worst thing about the quit - the insomnia.

Will check in tomorrow for an update, hopefully in a more positive mood!

Love to you all - my quit family.

Weedless xx 

You know I think Day One is shit for everyone.   But I'm glad you made it through - because tomorrow is Day TWO!!!! 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me (AGAIN!). 

I understand about the anger -  I spent day one fighting that - and day two crying - all day.   I did two years of DAY ONE

because my rage would just take over and I'd end up smoking to calm myself down.   Take a deep breath - you KNOW that it will get easier - soon.   It sounds like you have a lot going on right now.

What dose of 5HTP are you taking?  and does it ever leave you kind of 'fuzzy' in the morning?  - Hope it's working for you.  I think the lack of sleep is probably the biggest obstacle for me - I can cope with just about anything if I can get enough sleep. 

I'm just turning in here - and you should just be starting your day two - positive vibes back at you:D- WE can do this!!!!

LOVE

Grandma

Hello again! I am back and that means that  I made it through day 2!! YAY! Well you know I'd be back no matter what cuz I love you guys... awww.

Grandma, I was going to ask if you had sent me some vibes, I was thinking about it as I drove home how much better I had felt today EVEN though I ended up working 1.5 hours late and am truly shattered after a not-so-great sleep last night! I am a big believer in the power of spirit... but that is another conversation for another day!

Day 2 has not been too bad. I did sleep last night but it was fitful and I woke up quite a few times with the sweats (and it is not warm enough yet for it to be the weather!) - and just plain old restlessness. I am taking 200mg 5HTP at the moment instead of my usual 100mg. I know it has more of a cumulative long term effect so I did not expect it to knock me out as such, and it probably is helping with the mood swings and depression. I am sure I will sleep better tonight... well, we will see.

I have been thinking about smoking tonight. I think because my job is stressful at the moment because of the sheer quantity of work, the fact I am studying for a masters degree at the same time, and the fact that it is all so new that every day has a massive learning curve, I do NEED something to wind down with at the end of the day. I know weed is not the thing I should be choosing!! But old habits die hard. I need to get back in to meditation but this is difficult at the moment as I cannot relax enough to let my mind go... it is very annoying!!

But despite the fact I have been thinking about it, I am not actually feeling that tempted. I have given up at this stage before - so early on in the quit you think it makes no difference and you are still very much having withdrawal so it is easy to do - but it is never enjoyable. Whenever I have failed a quit, whether it is a day later, a week later or 2.5 months later, the 'buzz' is totally ruined by guilt and self loathing and I am so sick of feeling bad about myself I just cant do it anymore.

For anybody struggling out there, this is what I do when I think I want a spliff. Instead of asking yourself "Do I want a spliff?" to which the answer is of course "yes" ask yourself this:

Do I want to smoke spliff for the rest of my life? (NO)

Do I want to feel bad about myself? (NO)

Do I want to smell? (NO)

Do I want to feel guilty and ashamed? (NO)

Do I want to go back to Day 1? (NO)

Do I want to admit to my friends on the board that I've failed? (NO)

...you  get the idea!! See beyond the one spliff and see the bigger picture because that is what you are REALLY contemplating when you ask yourself "do I want a spliff?" - and if you go through this process and STILL want to smoke, ask yourself this: "if I have this spliff, will it actually make me happy?" and answer yourself honestly. If you think it will, have it. I say that because I think it will prove to you that it does not make you happy. If it truly did, I don't think you would be reading this post!! I think writing your own questions, based on all the reasons YOU want to quit makes this process much more successful.

I hope it works for  you as it does for me. Oh yeah, I expect the first question "do I want to smoke spliff for the rest of my life?" needs a bit of explanation. I put that because I am a firm believer that there is NO SUCH THING AS ONE TOKE. I think I have said that sooo many times on this board. One always leads to another, that is the whole deal with addiction unfortunately so instead of seeing that 'just one spliff to get through the day' see a lifetime of paying thru the nose and meeting dodgy dealers on street corners, feeling guilty, smelling bad and secret smoking... because it is a life choice and if you think you can have one toke then carry on with the quit you will make the mistake I have made far too many times!

I think Grandma next time you cant sleep you should just read through my post, I've written a bleeding essay!! If only I had this much focus on my masters I would sail through LOL.

Hope some of this helps at least one person out there.

Love Weedless xx

hi weedless,

great to see you're on day 2,  sorry I've just checked this thread after I had already responded to you in my flu thread !

I like your list and will be checking it in my weaker moments .

the ' I will quit tomorrow when my life is perfect ' rings oh so true !!!!!  I have had umpteen day ones !  So many that it's almost worth laughing at when I self declare a new day one !

XXX

AARRGGHH - this is the 3rd time I've started this - my computer keeps shutting down and deleting everything!!!!

I'm EXHAUSTED  but can't call it a day until I let you know that I truly AM sending all the love and positive energy your way that I can muster.  You are a huge part of the reason I made it back here - your notes and encouragement - your lists!! - Thank you for doing this again.  I'm going to write NO SUCH THING AS ONE TOKE 

across the inside of my forehead!

I've started the sweats again, as well.  I was rather hoping I might avoid them, since I didn't really smoke that long - but boy did I smoke a lot - so bracing myself for the detox.  No dreams yet.  I guess you have to go to sleep if you want to dream!!!  Time to get out my 5HTP - and I'll try the higher dose for a while.

As for dealing with stress - the quit really does require that we learn new coping skills.  I've had to realize that there is something that happens almost every day that I can use as an excuse for toking.    I always seem to sturggle most during the first four days - and I've made it that far several times -even in the past month!  I think the urges have pretty well left me- hope the same is true for you today on Day 3.  I KNOW you're going to make.  Will finishing this degree mean a career change or promotion? 

Again - I'm off to bed as you should close to starting your day - all my best wishes go with you!!

LOVE

Grandma

Hi Everyone!

It is so nice to have feedback - glad you like my list! I think the reason coming here on this board works for me is because I feel really good if I am helping others, and that is a bigger reason to do it than just for me. It is crazy I know, I do think I am "worth it" too but the whole social responsibility thing is a big plus!

I find it really therapeutic to put in to words my feelings and thoughts and any desires or urges to smoke seem to fade away... why did I ever leave the board? Grandma, if ever you don't hear from me on here for 2 days in a row, hunt me down and kick my ass on fb ok?

I have just finished Day 3 and I did have a moment of temptation on the drive home when I momentarily forgot I had quit and was thinking of the spliff I would have when I got back... then that sudden realisation that I wasn't going to have the spliff and the inevitable disappointment/anger/frustration that follows. But it was shortlived and I know this is quite natural when you first quit as it is still part of your routine. I actually had a text earlier this evening from one of my dealer-friends about some 'wicked' weed that has come in - you will be pleased to know I text straight back saying words to the effect of "no thanks, and I'm quit now so dont text me about this again". It did not even faze me, like it would normally. Weird. Think Grandmas vibes have affected my brain!! In a good way of course!! I have never found it so easy to say no before! I am really sorry if that is rubbing it in for anyone - but I just found it quite liberating to say no!

My biggest issue I am facing is that I am eating like a pig - I decided not to try and diet while I am facing up to this addiction and I find myself picking at food instead of smoking.. I need to be very careful as the first ever time I tried to quit (a few years ago) I replaced weed with alcohol and it did not end well - turned in to a righ alcofrolic drinking 2 bottles of wine a day and damn near got myself sacked from work for lunchtime drinking... need to be mindful that I dont replace weed with sweets etc this time! But I will face this issue AFTER Easter (cuz I am not missing my eggs!!). Apart from this, I am doing well and I am not complaining cuz at least I am not smoking! YAY! and one thing at a time...

Well I will stop rambling here now, cuz I have other posts to read and you can guarantee I will have something to say cuz I am an opinionated sod LOL.

Weedless xx

Weedless - your cheerful 'can do' attitude has such a powerful effect on me - and I too hope that there are others out there who will benefit. 

Now about the eating like a piggie thing - I gained 30 pounds during that first 4 months of my quit.  There is no

question that I just replaced one addiction for another.  My eating was as out of control as my smoking had been.  So far this time it's been okay.  I've actually lost a few pounds. 

Fortunately, I'm not a drinker.  I can't stand the taste - but I would tolerate that if it really did anything for me.   I;ve never really pushed it because I've always had a sense that I might be an alcoholic - now seeing how my body and mind reacted to marjuana, there is little doubt in my mind that if I liked to drink, it would be a problem for me.

Ramble on.  It's very helpful stuff.    HAVE A WONDERFUL EASTER.   It snowed here today - OH and by the time you read this it will be my birthday! - 61 years old on April 2.  I have hated celebrating my birthday for years - long story - but as the years wear on, I've started to just celebrate the fact that I'm still around! 

Congrats on sending the dealer packing!!! You're a brave soul.  I would hope that I could do the same thing.   A few days ago I would probably have started drooling over an offer like that!  

Enjoy your Easter egss.   I hope it's spring there - I'm would imagine that the gorse is in bloom, at least.  A couple of years ago I flew from London to Edinburgh and it appeared the whole UK was covered with yellow blossoms.: gorse, daffodils, rape, broom -   It has snowed for two solid days here in Utah.  UGH.  

Good night to me - and wishes for a great weekend for you.

Love,

Grandma

Happy Birthday Grandma!!! It is my sisters birthday today too... if you are anything like her (quite typical Aries) you can be very driven and determined but also quite impulsive... very honest and to the point, and tend to know what you want and have a plan to get it. Does that sound like you?? The best thing is, Aries make great friends for Scorpios (like me!!!) - must be why we gel so well.

I hope you have an amazing birthday. As for Easter weather, it is really disappointing here in the UK. There has been snow up north, where i live it is just grey and drizzly. We have had some nice spring sunshine in recent weeks but none forecast for the weekend unfortunately! But for me that might be good, as I have mucho work to do, that would be a big distraction!

I am going to curb the overeating next week.  As well as a serial weed quitter, I am also a serial dieter. It is not healthy but my weight has fluctuated by 2.5 stone (about 35 lbs I think) up and down like a yo yo the last couple or 3 years. I first gained it with that bout of alcofrolicism (I call it that because I know I am not an alcoholic - I can have a glass of wine now and not feel compelled to drink the whole bottle but for a few months I couldn't live without it). At that time I was drinking so much, and of course never cooking properly so lived on junk food, and I went from being someone who had always been naturally slim to someone with a weight problem.

I have struggled ever since to lose it and keep it off. Especially when I don't allow myself to smoke, I just want to eat instead. I need to get it in to my head that you do not need to substitute weed with anything. By having any form of substitute you are kind of saying 'I need to replace something missing' and that implies to your subconscious that you are making a sacrifice by giving up weed. And that is BAD psychology. We are not 'giving up' anything because it does nothing good for us at all!! Therefore, no substitute required. If I let myself get any fatter, that really will give me an excuse to smoke again. I don't want to give myself any excuses!!

I will let you know how that goes as well. I keep meaning to get my butt off to the gym again but have not made it thus far this week. But it is only Day 4. Perhaps I will go later...

Anyway, have a great day, have lots of fun and I'll catch you later! Would love to have a live chat sometime but the time difference makes that difficult I think. Oh yeah, I checked out flights to Oregon out of interest and it costs £1500!!! Whoa. Dont know what that is in dollars but I might need a couple of promotions first LOL. Let  me know if you're ever in Europe and I'll come visit you there!!

Love Weedless xxx

Well today is Day 7 - assuming I make it through today I will have done my first week. YAY. I have to say it has gotten harder as the week has progressed rather than easier, like I predicted. My emotions are in turmoil, last night a complete stranger made me cry over something really petty that normally I would have laughed at. I feel like a headcase, no messing. I went to bed feeling awful then had this bizarre dream that I was in a cannabis rehab, but I was still smoking. The whole process was really vivid, watching myself skin up and light it and I woke up feeling crap. Part of me woke up with regret that I couldn't smoke. Sorry but its true. I know it is just my brain processing all my jumbled thoughts about smoking and quitting but it doesn't feel like its helping! I feel really emotional now too and I know I will spend part of today crying. Hell, I might as well put on a weepy film and get it out of my system. At least I will have a reason to cry then and not feel like such a freak!!!

I suppose the depression is a necessary part of the healing process and I also see it as a stark reminder of why I want to, no NEED to quit. It is weed that is doing this to me. I was never a depressive person before I discovered weed. In fact quite the opposite - you never met a happier, more balanced, focused and naturally energetic person. That person may have been missing for the past 12 years but she's out there somewhere and I need to get her back! I loved my life before weed... I thought when I found weed that it enhanced my life and I think in the very early days it did - back when a bong could put you in stitches of giggles and the whole process seemed to bring you closer to your mates. Unfortunately that stage doesn't last very long, before you know it you are frittering away all your money, lying to your parents, hiding away from society and despising yourself the whole time. God if only I knew then what I know now...

I think I have mentioned before that I had a long standing relationship with other drugs too. I used to go clubbing all weekend, take loads of pills (ecstacy, not painkillers), ketamine, coke, speed - whatever I could get to keep the buzz going. I got in to uppers about 2 years before I discovered weed (a lot of people say I got this the wrong way around, but I hated any form of smoking because my parents smoked) and quit all of that about 2 years ago. These drugs were far more fun (not that I'm advocating them) but I found them easier to let go... I don't get it. I think the delusion so many people have that weed is not harmful and not as bad as these drugs kept me locked in. Also apart from very early on in my pilling days when I did them at college, round friends houses etc, it was generally something I did in clubs on weekends. So when I stopped going clubbing, I was physically away from them. With weed it is different as it was something I did at home alone, you can not really call it a 'recreational' drug then can you? I think it is harder too because the benefits of quitting take far longer to realise. I am a week since I last smoked nearly (by tonight!!) but my head feels like I smoked yesterday still. No wonder so few people make it through the first week of quitting. I also firmly believe that cannabis is physically addictive whereas pills are not. Coke is a different story - I thank god I never had the money to buy this often enough to get hooked! I don't like to think how my life would look now if I had been able to keep that up... so thank heaven for small mercies eh? As monty python once said "Always look on the bright side of life..."

Well I've written an essay again... I have refrained from writing too much the last day or so because everyone's done a runner and I feel like I'm talking to myself LOL. But some of this I just had to get off my chest, no wonder I have felt so bad. I do feel a bit better now. Please send me some vibes though, I need'em.

Love Weedless xxx

Hello WW,

I'm glad to hear your still going strong, keep it up.  I found that if you can get through the first week or two, it gets better.

I've read your posts and what really struck me is something that I was saying about a while back, which is that quite simply weed doesn't do anything good.  Back at the top there the only 'pro' you could come up with is 'it relieves boredom', yet this is far outbalanced by the cons.

So try and remember this: you're not giving anything up, you're not depriving yourself of anything, what you're actually doing is acquiring many good things; all the things on your 'cons' list which will be fixed once you're clean!  There are no losses here, only gains!  To quit is a win/win situation!!

Also, to quote from your post:

"I thought when I found weed that it enhanced my life and I think in the very early days it did - back when a bong could put you in stitches of giggles and the whole process seemed to bring you closer to your mates. Unfortunately that stage doesn't last very long..."

It really struck me how well I could relate to that, how in the begining it actually was quite good.  I remember when South Park first came on TV, and being stoned and paralysed with laughter.

But how long did that stage really last?  I honestly couldn't say.  What I think happened to me is that even when it stopped doing anything good, even when it started eating away at my mental well-being and stunting my life, somehow I remembered those early times and overlooked what it was actually doing to me now.

I think that that was one of the things that stopped me from quitting - somehow I still associated it with those happy times, despite that fact that long ago it stopped doing that.  Even now I think it'd be nice to smoke and feel that way again, even though I know that it would only make me feel bad.

Weed does nothing good, it only does bad, quitting is not a loss, it is an escape!

Hi Everyone

Well I am now on Day 9 and temptation hasn't struck today. I think things are looking up. I went to the gym last  night and did loads of cardio and some weights and hopefully gave my detox a good boost. I have started diet again today too because last week I just ate so much... I just fill the 'emptiness' left by the weed with food. I use inverted commas because there is no real void unless you believe there is and that kind of thinking never leads anywhere positive. So I am no longer replacing weed with food because there is nothing to replace!! I am not missing anything! And I certainly do not want to get fat, that would just make me really miserable.

I am still struggling with sleep. It is sooo frustrating. Was tossing and turning most of last night and the night before. Going to take more 5HTP and see if that makes any difference. Probably doesn't help that I stay up on computer almost until bedtime. Need to curb that bad habit too!!! Why not? Getting rid of all my other bad habits eh?

Hope all is going well for the rest of you...

love Weedless

Where is everyone???? Am I doing this alone now eh?

Well I am on Day 13 I think... still going well, still going strong but still not sleeping. It is soooo frustrating. I got horrendously drunk last night and this normally leads to thoughts of smoking. Whilst I was out I had a text from one of my dealer friends and I still wasn't really tempted which is progress I think. Going to a party with some of my stoner friends in May though (which I have to attend, its my friends 30th) and I am a bit nervous as there is likely to be weed. Hopefully I will be feeling even stronger by then.

Well not much else to say but thought I'd check in - hope y'all have a good weekend!

Weedless xx

Weedless, Pete, Ben, Cat - and anyone else here - just want you to know that I'm still doing fine, but have been without internet service for about a week.  The Pacific Northwest is best known it's storms and crashing waves and they've reaked havoc on our service -  I can check in on you all on my iphone, but it won't let me post.  

LOVE YOU ALL!!

Hello WW,

I see it's been a few days, it must be day 16 or 17 by now, how's it going?

James

Hey Weedless - I know you are busy - thank you for the essays.  I somehow missed most of the above in the days that I've been without internet!    Perhaps it's more expensive to book from your end, because just out of curiosity I checked and found flights for about half what you quoted.  The good part of it is that your money is worth almost DOUBLE over here!!! -  

As for sleep - I have honestly gone two or three days at a time without being able to fall asleep - it seems to be getting a little better, but I think it contributes to the depression - just feeling to tired to do anything.   In this part of the U.S.  'seasonal affective disorder' (SAD) is epidemic due to the almost constant rain.  A lot of people can't live in Seattle or Portland for that reason.  I have to wonder if the you deal with that in parts of the UK.  Scotland, in particular can be grey and rainy for weeks.

I still haven't solved my internet problem - the wind keeps blowing out the satelite so I wanted to switch to a land line - but I love up a canyon and across a stream and the phone company hasn't got enough lines coming up here.  They promise a solution in June! - in the meantime, we've had a couple of days of sunshine, and that would be far better solution, in my book!

sorry about THIS essay - hope you are well and strong. 

LOVE

Grandma

Hi Grandma, James and anybody else who bothers to read my essays!!

Sorry I have been so lame... I hate to admit it but I was seduced by a silly internet boy (well man, but same difference really - sorry James) and although he has been a good distraction, now he is annoying me it is making me think of weed even more. Why is when we get annoyed we want to smoke?? Probably just my mind making excuses again. I have managed to keep up the gym habit though too which is good stuff - not actually lost any weight but I'm sure it is helping with the detox. I am now on Day 17 and feeling pretty strong - aside from the odd pang when I get annoyed - but it is not that bad. One of my stoner friends has asked me what I am doing this weekend though and I dont know if I can go there and resist it... Been ages since I've seen him but I know I will smoke if I go there. Aaaarrrggghhh!! This is the part of the quit I hate. I can get through a few weeks and pretend my friends dont exist, even find new friends to occupy me (the silly man-boy) but sooner or later my real friends are going to want to see me and I just cant give up a 10 year friendship just like that. Crap. My mind is starting to do the "just one night wont kill me" thing which never leads anywhere good and has undermined my previous quits before but feels so tempting... someone talk me round please!!

I am away tomorrow night so might not be able to catch up, but I am going to make a concerted effort to come on here more - I need it as I am feeling my resolve slipping and this site always sorts me out. Thanks friends.

Love to you all

Weedless xxx