Benefits of quitting cannabis

I'm back.  Embarrassed and angry at myself, but determined to learn from this process and move forward.  I'm just ending Day 2 - still having urges and feeling

emotionally fragile.

For those of you who don't know me,  I started smoking weed the year I turned 50 and have smoked nonstop for 10 years.  With the help of this forum, I was able to

quit for 4 months - until a couple of months ago and then, like so many others, I

thought I could start again and keep it under control.  I know there are people out there who CAN control their use - who can smoke once in a while or only on weekends.  I'm not one of those people.    It's a stunning thing to meet addiction

at my age.  You think you have your set of life skills all laid out by this time. 

Anyway - being able to quit for 4 months was not wasted.  It taught me what was possible and enabled me to move forward from here without that horrid fear of the unknown.  I have an idea what to expect  this time and have to knowledge

that not only is this an experience I can survive, but that it will get easier as the

days go by.  

So Pete, thanks for being here.  James, if you're out there, I've been going back and rereading a lot of your posts - you are wise and compassionate and I hope that your life and quit are going strong.  Cat, Weedless, Lee - anyone new out there - I'm so sorry I let you all down.  Won't happen again.  

Hugs,

Grandma

Yo Grandma! The coolest G in town... sooo glad we have BOTH got over our fear and come back to the forum! Why was I scared? I am an idiot. I think I knew that when I came back I would have to quit again, and the stupid weed monster doesnt want me to quit so made me think this was a bad idea. I should learn not to listen to the weed monster.

I feel I have taken a big step just in logging on today, it was about time. You may have spotted I logged on and wrote a couple of posts a month or so back, and the quit failed after... well I forget, but it didn't last long! I think when I noticed none of my old quit pals were on here anymore, I just gave in and carried on smoking. Thank goodness some of you have seen the light. I hope that means I can make it this time! If nothing else, I want to beat my quit record of 2.5 months. Hell I want to never smoke again but when I say that I really do freak out, so I'll focus on breaking the record first then see how I feel about never smoking again!

G I'm curious about James too - I am hoping he is just so over it, he doesnt need us anymore... as opposed to making the same mistake we did. But James if you are out there, get back in touch - you are such a huge inspiration to us!!

By the way G, you never let us down. Yeah I was shocked you went back, but god if anyone understands the lure of the weed monster, it is me - Little Miss Quits 5 Times a Year!!

Keep up the good work...

Weedless xx

WIERDEST thing happened today!  I quit when I finished my last stash - but you know how that first day goes.  I did the stupid thing and went through any places where I might have left something - didn't let myself get to that crazy, frantic place where I just have to go FIND some - but I was close.  Today I found a nice little bud just sitting right on top of my dresser.  Just sitting there!!!!!!!  If it had been yesterday, I probably would have smoked it - but I feel stronger today - so I gave it away.    Now THAT's something to be shocked about Weedless! 

OMG that is mega progress! Well done. I don't think I have EVER done that. I found a little bud yesterday but I am still smoking... for about another hour then I am free again! Pretty sure I wont find any more. I hope not as I'm not sure I am as strong willed as you Grandma!

Keep up the good work! Gold star for you!

Weedless xx

Hey ya'all - I only have a few minutes.  I've spent the last 24hours working my way back to Utah to take care of a wounded daughter-in-law.   She fell down the stairs and tore her ankle apart - whichmakes it really hard for her to take care of three tin children.  Sothe goats and cows and crops are left to Kees.  Again, it is just awonderful gift that I was able to get on a plane and be here withoutthinking twice about where I was going to get a stash.  Unbelievablyliberating.    Things like this

remind me of how really important it is for me to stay with the quit. 

Thankyou all for your love and support.  Moe - WELCOME!  Great to havesomebody new on board - hope there are others out there getting readyto embark.

Weedless - it was a remarkably lucid moment for me - I have spent 10 years smoking out the resin in my pipe when I was out of bud.  Miserable, miserable days. 

THC - ready to become 'sobriety rich'!!!!!!  I haven't slept in a couple of days.  Hope to crash.

Hugs to you all!!

Grandma, well done for getting thru as far as you have. As you are away, I don't know how often you will get to check in but praying for a fast recovery for your daughter-in-law. Family eh, never give us a minutes peace!! Bet you are missing the goats. Awww. Praying also for sleep for you! and me... and the rest of us. Positive vibes coming your way. Can you feel them??

Love ya

Weedless xx

Hi Grandma and WW,

I'm really sorry to hear there's been some slip ups, and that I haven't been back much.  I mean to, and I pledge that I will more often, I'd like to be helpful to you all.

I'm glad you've come back, try and remember that being too hard on yourselves for slip ups can be counter-productive - don't be too harsh on yourselves.  Quitting for months at a time is a remarkable achievement in itself, and it proves that you can do it again, and for longer next time.

I'm now at the end of my sixth month of quitting, as I said elsewhere I had one minor slip up in December (it was my birthday, it was only a tiny amount, and only for 2 or 3 days), but I've decided that that does not count.

My life is revolutionised.  I've officially started my web design company, things are starting slowly, but I am optimistic.  This would never have happened if I were still smoking.  To get some cash coming in I have got a job doing market research, something I DEFINITELY couldn't have done if I was smoking.  I am less paranoid, especially in my relationships with others, I'm more friendly, less angry, more hopeful, more organised, more successful.

I doubt I would have got this far had it not been for joining this forum, and quitting has only done me good.

I am lucky in that I have reached a point where I feel little or no urge to smoke again.  I'm sure anyone can get to that place, especially if they see their life change in positive ways as a result of quitting.

So perhaps to overcome the urges, and as a replacement for being too harsh on yourselves for the slip ups, you might be able to focus on the benefits you've had from quitting, however small.

Don't quit quitting, You've shown you're capable of it, and keep coming back!

James

Hi James!

We have all been wondering about you!! So glad you came back and even more glad that you have hit the 6 month mark. I agree, those 2 or 3 days definitely do NOT count. I am so pleased to hear how good your life is, I remember reading your earlier posts when you joined this board and the difference is remarkable. I feel really motivated to see this through, I hope you know how much of an inspiration you have been to many of us on here. So well done and thanks for checking in. Have you put your story in the 'success stories' section? I really think you should, it is a bit lacking and I think it would help any newbies on here... just a thought. Keep up the good work (I sound like a teacher!) on your new business, that is soooo exciting!

Love Weedless xxx

Hi WW,

I meant to come back and put something in that section, I will be back soon to do so later.  It's a busy day today, and it was supposed to be my day off!

You said above that "Hell I want to never smoke again but when I say that I really do freak out".

I knew a serious alcoholic a while back who was helped a lot by the AA.  He said that one of the things they do is to never think that they won't drink ever again.

This can seem too scary a prospect, as I'm sure you can appreciate.  What they think instead is that "I'll have a drink tomorrow", and next day they think it again, and on and on.

The hope is that that tomorrow nevers comes.  This helps take the sting out of 'for the rest of my life' and makes it more managable.

One day at a time.  Eventually it'll all add up.

James

Very limited internet access right now - I'm back at the sea coast and the storms

have been ferocious.  But everything is fine.  I've been horribly depressed - hopefully

just part of the process.  Hope you are all well - sorry to be brief.  LOVE YOU ALL -