Benefits of quitting cannabis

Hi Everyone

This is actually my third attempt to quit weed in the past year and I sincerely hope it is the last time too. I am struggling though - I know that I will not smoke today, nor tomorrow, nor at all next week. I've done this before, I know what withdrawal feels like, and I know how great it feels to be clean for a few weeks. But at some point I always get nostalgia about smoking, or miss my stoner friends and succumb once more to the weed trap.

I just keep hoping that if I can go for long enough, I just won't want to do it anymore! Am I being unrealistic? Will there ever come a point where I will actually hate weed and NOT want to do it? Or will I always feel I am missing out if I don't do it?

I know inside that the joy of smoking is an illusion. I spent my last few days of 2009 smoking constantly and analysing my feelings whilst I was doing it. There was no enjoyment whatsover. In fact, at times my lungs felt so strained and the taste so bad I thought "why do I keep doing this?" - it is only when you stop doing it for half an hour or so, that you start to miss it, and think you want one! I know, I know, that is the addiction.

But for all my lack of enjoyment and distaste while I was indulging my addiction, I feel like I am missing out now, and it is making me behave like a teenager acting up. No offence teenagers! I totally lost my rag with my mum yesterday over stupid things, then spent yesterday evening crying about it. One day, and I am an emotional wreck! I know that is what weed is doing to me.

Before I became a stoner 12 years ago I was such a happy, fun loving and confident girl. I became a total loser for a while. For the past year I have started to get control back, I managed to get my dream job and start studying again. For the first time in years I am happy with where I am in my life. Except for that one thing - smoking weed. Now is definitely the time to quit. Because now I actually have something to lose if I got caught. That is a great motivation!

I tried to quit about 3 or 4 years ago and managed to go for about 4 or 5 months without it. I had applied for a job where I knew I would be getting drug tested so I really could not smoke. I never got over the addiction though, I pined for it every day, but wanted the job more than the weed I guess. The day I got the letter saying I didn't get the job, I started smoking again, and I went straight back to the amount I had smoked before I had quit. I was absolutely battered for the first few days but of course got used to it in no time.

I didn't attempt to quit again until last May. I used Marijuana Anonymous website to help me - I spent hours reading through other people's experience with weed and with quitting. Many of them smoked far more than I had, and for far longer. And quit. I thought, if they can do it, so can I!! It was bloody hard and I literally had to take each hour at a time. Just focusing on not smoking for that hour, or that day and not thinking about a week, a month or certainly not a year! I made it to 2.5 months, and whilst under the influence of alcohol, a friend offered me a spliff and against my better judgment I smoked it.

I went for 2 weeks and thought "well I smoked that spliff and I didn't go back to daily smoking, maybe I can now have the odd one and not get hooked again". So I went to my friends, got battered, and went back to daily smoking within a week, it just crept up and up. After about 6 weeks of indulging I felt guilty and pathetic and weak and really disappointed in myself. I decided to quit again. I have to say it was a lot easier to initially stop this time as I had done it before and survived after all! I went for 6 weeks or so before I succumbed again. This time it was a 'birthday treat'. ACtually I had tried to have a birthday treat, failed to score, but a week later when I could get some I did - I should have realised not scoring on my birthday was a blessing and a lucky escape but I didn't. Silly me.

Well the birthday treat lasted til Christmas. I decided a few weeks ago that I would quit for New Year. Not really for NY but it seemed a good time to make a change. I would never forget my quit date would I?!

So that is where I am now. I hope my life does not become a cycle of smoking and quitting, smoking and quitting. Obviously that is better than relentless smoking, but god, I dont want to be that person any more! A major change each time I went back to smoking is the increase in the FEAR. The paranoia about being caught out by my family or the police. It totally ruined whatever buzz I got from the weed. What is the point in that? I will go before I start rambling again, but I will post back and let everyone know how I am getting on.

Yours

Weedless Wench x

hi weedless

i haven't posted in here alot, butri checkin periodically, i start on week 11 of my quit tomorrow

iv'e read your post, you sound like a text book MJ uiser, like myself and most others, we all know its an illusion  but we get caught up in it everytime, i can relate when you say that when you relapse for the first time you use it feels like shit but we always keep going back the next dayu and the day after that WHY !

I am struggling to get over this a little, but i got though christmas & Newyear sober, the first time as an adult, the more time passes the less of a draw mj has on me but i have to come back here and read through posts to convince myself its not a good idea to go back.

I would recommend something a little non-relegious but spiritual to replace the weed, yoga, meditation, tha chi has worked for me and also diet which i have to work on, sauna, cardio work also good , keep away from alcohol and any other stimulants,  i may sound preachy but i am just trying to offer advice for what has worked for me.

Good luck ], i'll check in on you for a bit of support ( for me that is ) 

>THC

Hi THC

Thank you for your post. I think you are doing the right thing to keep checking in. On my last attempt to quit I joined a forum similar to this and it made it soooo much easier to quit knowing I wasn't alone. I checked in every day and read through the posts and offered advice to other people. That in particular really helped me and I totally believed I had cracked it. So I stopped posting. I didn;t consciously decide to stop posting, but mj just wasn't on my mind so much so I didn't need to! How wrong was I?! I think that was the start of my undoing. I won't make the same mistake this time!

Well done on making it for the past 10 weeks, and especially over the holiday season. If you can do that mate, I think you can go all the way. Just make sure you never get complacent like I did and think you can become a casual smoker - once an addict, always an addict. It is an illusion I fell for time and time again. Don't you do the same thing.

Thanks again for your support

Weedless Wench x

Hi weedless,

I just responded to your post in the new year section, but I see your post here has more to it . 

I'm sure many if not all of us can relate to your story , it was very similar for me . I would give up for months at a time, and a one off smoke would very soon take me to every day smoking . I remind myself of this everytime I consider having just a one off smoke, and what harm would it do etc.

My man has been very supportive in reminding me how catastrophic it would be for me to have one, and how it will only lead to me spending the next weeks obsessing over it until I get another one, and so the same ole' story goes.

You sound like you know what you're doing , and I guess we can only learn from our mistakes , and contribute them to our final conquer !

I'm around 12weeks, I will have to check the date of my first post to be exact , but this is nearing or past the longest I have been without weed . I still have urges to have the one off and I'm still fighting them . Xmas and the new year was hard .

It's great to have you here Weedless , here's wishing you luck and love . 

Keep posting and let us know how you're getting on .

CAT x

Hi everyone

Thank you for the support so far. It does help knowing one is not alone in all this. I have just finished day 4 and feel ok. I am very tired today because I didn't sleep a wink all night last night. I caught myself thinking "if only I had a spliff, that would help me to sleep" - but I also remember waking up late every morning of my christmas holiday after 10 or 12 hours sleep feeling fuzzy and tired because I'd spent the previous day toking up. You might fall asleep easier when you are stoned but the sleep isn't exactly quality is it?

I am tempted to take a sleep tablet tonight just to make sure I pass out. In the past I have found that the insomnia you get when you quit is just one more excuse to give in to the weed. I really don't want to do that!

I've got to the point now where I think in another day or two I will have got over the physical withdrawal of the nicotine (I nearly always smoke my weed in a spliff, gave up bongs after the first time I quit) and after that it is purely psychological. Yeah I know, that is probably a stronger addiction than the physical addiction to nicotine, but it is one less battle to fight!

Every now and then my fingers get itchy to skin up! It catches you unawares sometimes, you go to reach for the skinning up board and then have that realisation that you dont do it anymore. Then the initial disappointment that you cant have it. Then the temptation - should I? Just for tonight? I have got pretty used to talking myself out of these things now, but these battles with myself are something I've dealt with for at least the past 5 years. I think 5 years is when I realised I didnt do it for enjoyment anymore. I did it because I had to. And that is how long I have wanted to stop (and failed). Well, failed until now that is!

I kind of miss it but I know from experience that these habits, these itchy fingers, will stop in a couple of weeks and I will become used to not smoking again. I think I am lucky to have quit before. Sure I wasn't successful, as in I did relapse eventually. But for people who have smoked a long time and never properly quit, they dont know how much better you can feel when you stop. I know I am happier in the long run without it, I am much wittier, more confident and laugh far more when I am a few weeks clean. I know in time I will look prettier, these dark circles will disappear from under my eyes, and I will be less inclined to fall out with my parents or snap and get annoyed at my work colleagues. Whenever I get narky with my mum (bless  her, she gets the worst of it because I love her the most) I end up in tears feeling terrible. That is an awful feeling, thinking you have hurt someone you love. And when I am clean I wont do that! The weed really does mess with your head!

Oh how I cant wait until another week or two has passed and I will feel so much better. Until then I will just have to endure the withdrawal and trust it will go eventually.

I will check in soon - I know I will make it this time. See I am already getting more positive!!

Yours,

Weedless Wench x

Hi weedless,

great to hear you a little more positive . A those benefits of quitting are so true , you should paste them into the , benefits of quitting section as they fall upon you .

As for the sleeping pill idea, I talked to my dr about this several  months ago , and he strongly advised me against it . I wouldn't take this word as gospel , as I don't have the best dr in the world , but he did advise me that using sleeping pills to replace an addiction which aided sleep would not encourage me to find a natural sleeping pattern on my own .

I took his advice, though I am not sure how useful it was , as I didn't try the alternative . If you do , please let us know if it helps.  As we all know, one of the biggest problems at the start of a quit is insomnia, so I'm sure others would also be interested in how the sleeping pills pan out , and how it is to sleep when you decide you don't need to use them anymore. If it's a gentle ease away from cannabis as a substitute sleep inducer , that would be very interesting and helpful , if however you have to face the same problems as soon as you leave the sleeping pills, then of course it wouldn't . So please let us know what you decide and how it goes.

You're right about the fact that its helpful that you've tried to quit before , you know what to expect , for better and worse, and it's great to see you dwelling on the 'better' .

Just hang in there weedless, you can do this , and we are following .

Check in as often as you need to  , and keep up those positive vibes   Everything's alright in the end , and if it's not alright, it's not the end

CAT x

Weedless - I'm so glad you're here.  I'm sorry about the sleep - it's my biggest problem as well.  It was such good sleep at first - but as the years wear on you become more and more exhausted.   It always amazes me how similar all of our stories are.  The trying to quit and failing - 

Thanks for sharing your experience - it is, as a poet friend of mine says, 'pain made useful' .  Really - what you have experienced after going back to it is what we really all fear, I think - and hearing your story keeps me strongly motivated to stay with it this time.  THANK YOU.  Please keep posting - and KEEP QUITTING!

I actually totally agree with your doctor Cat - sleeping pills aren't really a good idea. But I was desperate - I'm in a relatively new job and there is so much to take in. I just couldn't hack it if I didn't sleep yet another night. I'm going to do it the natural way tonight - a warm bath and a relaxing CD! To be honest, although I slept last night I still felt a bit rough this morning. I think most sleeping pills knock you out but give you a sort of hangover - bit like weed in that respect!

Today is Day 5 and I feel ok. My dealer/friend text me today to see how I was - he didn't mention weed but a text from him is enough to get me thinking about it anyway. But I resisted! I said I might see him for a drink in a few weeks when I am feeling stronger in my resolve! How good am I?! I would like to just not see any of my stoner friends ever again in a way, but to turn my back on 12 years of friendship... dunno if I can do that. Has anybody else just ditched certain friends?

Hope everyone else is doing ok. I will check in tomorrow on day 6! Soon I can start counting in weeks... YAY!

Weedless xxx

Weedless, congrats on almost a week

Just to let you know I'm following, and your early days are a motivational message  to me to carry on .

Keep up the good fight , I will post again later, I have to go and dig snow now

CAT xxx

Weedless - how's it going?   I hear everyone is buried in snow in the UK?  It's bitter cold here - none of that seems to help with the quitting, but I hope you are still working on it.

Check in when you can - and thanks for the 5HTP tip - I've been using it for several months now!

Hi guys

I tried to get on here yesterday and the stupid site wasn't working!! Grrr. Well I have officially made it a week - 8 days actually. I am very pleased. I already feel that each day is getting easier. Although my dealer friend asked me to babysit tonight and I felt really bad saying no cuz he used to be able to rely on me. But I know it is too soon; if I was in the same room as the stuff I am not convinced I would be able to resist it.

Grandma you are right, we are covered in snow in England! I think it is a blessing, because I wouldn't want to drive when the roads are so bad which makes it even less likely that I will go anywhere to score. Plus I wouldn't want to freeze my ass off smoking out of my window and I have never smoked with the windows shut cuz I'm so paranoid about the smell! So it is the silver lining for me.

I know there are people on the site and out there that are really struggling with quitting so dont hate me for saying this, but I am not finding it that difficult now, even though it is only a week in. I know the first time I tried to quit last May it was mental torture for me for at least the first month, and I really had to fight it. Whether it is easier because I have done it before or what I dont know, but I feel like I've just had enough of it. I still get the odd pang but I recognise it for what it is - it is just the addiction making me want it - but I don't want it. I just think of all the times when I've had it and wished that I didn't smoke. I try to get back in that mindset and remember the self loathing, the paranoia, and all the other crap that goes with it and the pang soon passes.

I think ultimately it is mind over matter. Without wishing to oversimplify what can be a tortuous and difficult thing to do, I try to be positive and speak positive and it is much easier. If I catch myself saying "I need a spliff" I correct myself and just think "that is the weed trying to control me. I am in control of me now. I choose not to smoke". Taking back that power is the best thing to come of quitting. Every time you say "I want" or "I need" and then say "I can't have" you feel like you are genuinely missing out, that makes you feel bad and the feeling of need and want increases. So I try to change how I think and speak. And it is really working! I probably sound like a bit of an annoying git right now but I would recommend it to anybody! I can recommend some good books if anybody is interested in that sort of thing...

I am going to love you and leave you now, because it is Friday night and I have some relaxing to do after a hard week of work. But peace and love go out to you, especially to you poor souls that are still in limbo, not knowing whether now is the time to quit or not. (It is).

Love Weedless Wench x

Weedless - I'm in the process of moving and have been away from my computer for a while - I SO hope that things are still going well for you.  It's really reassuring to know that it's EASIER for you this time.  I hope this is the LAST time you have to even think about quitting.  

Stay warm  - it's a miserable winter almost everywhere.  It does help not to have to open the windows - I used to do the same thing.   I always smoked alone and always out the window.  It's several degrees below freezing here, so that's not something I miss either!! 

Keep posting - I'll be back to checking in every day by the end of the week!!

Hi grandma,

I can't believe it is now day 12 and I'm still going strong. I had a very vivid dream about smoking spliffs last night though and it was a bit weird. It isn't the first one I've had but I did wake up kind of pining for it a bit. But I know it is early days, and that is to be expected. A good friend of mine called me last night and has asked me to go to Amsterdam for a long weekend - for a birthday celebration. I don't know what to do. I explained that as I am trying to quit permanently it might not be the best location for a weekend away - I couldn't go there and not toke. In a totally well meaning way he did say that if I can last that long (til about May) then maybe I deserve the treat and I can just make the rule that I don't smoke in the UK - abroad is fine! That is very tempting! I don't know if that is realistic really, knowing how easily I can get hooked on it again!

But I'm in no position to book it yet anyway so I can think about whether or not to risk all my hard work! I'm still finding it ok to not smoke but I've avoided all my smoking friends so far which I can't do forever. It always becomes more challenging when I see them and soon I will have to - else I am a rubbish friend indeed!

How is the house move going grandma? Where are you moving to? It can be sooo stressful, so I hope it is going ok and that you settle in to your new place in no time.

Catch you at the end of the week then - peace and love!!

Weedless xx

Weedless , well done on day 12 .

I'm also toying with the Amsterdam smoking idea !  My only fear is , I would end up there on cheap coach trips every weekend !

Well done with nearly 2weeks , keep up the good fight .

CAT x

Cat

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I know that I am probably kidding myself thinking I could go away, smoke for 3 days and come back and not smoke. But on the other hand, I would be away from the normal places I associate with smoking, and the normal people (my friend who wants to go there is NOT really a cainer, he wants to go to experience the Amsterdam way of life, but it would be a cultural holiday too!) and I know I have the willpower to stop again (as I've done it this time). I am talking myself in to it now and starting to feel guilty... aaarrrggghhh!!

What to do? What to do? It is a tough one. Anybody else have any ideas?!

I have made many bargains with myself when trying to quit before, like "only smoke at friends house, never at home alone" and "only smoke on weekends, never in the week" and I know those bargains never work - it just means I'm always round my mates instead of at home spending more money on petrol! And weekends only never works as there is always a bit left over after Sunday that you just HAVE to have on Monday! But only smoking abroad... I can't afford to go abroad that often so it  cant fail. Can it?!

Has anybody else tried this tactic?

Weedless x

Yikes Weedless - Cat can tell you - I have the "should I or should I not go to

Amsterdam" argument with myself on a regular basis!!!!   PLEASE let me know

what you decide.  I'll probably be there myself within the year to visit family and I

don't know how to handle it.  You HAVE been able to quit over and over again -

and you have said that it was easier this time.   For me - if it's around, I'll

smoke it!    I have NO willpower whatsoever!!   Right now I'm thinking I could go there and just enjoy the place - It really is a GREAT city (and country) even without

pot. 

Let me know what you decide.  And keep posting - regardless.

BIG HUG

Grandma

hahahaha - It will be so bad if we all end up in amsterdam stoned together ... the givingupcannabis.com crew

 CAT x

Grandma, you are right it is a fab city even without the pot. But if I was there, I would just HAVE to partake! Weirdly though, tobacco is now banned so you have to smoke it pure LOL. That amuses me. When are you going there Grandma? Would be cool if we are there at the same time. We could go for a drink if nothing else!

Cat, I think it would be BAD indeed if all ended up there, especially as we should be setting a good example to all the would-be quitters reading this, but at least we would all be able to quit again together!! LOL

I should be quiet now, because I stand a real risk of dragging you good people down with me! And I would feel very guilty if I did that. As it is, I have now hit my two week mark! Woooo hoooo!

If I do decide to go there, I will see how I feel about smoking. I mean, it would be 4 months away, and if I manage to go smoke free between now and then there is no guarantee that I would even WANT to do it then. Ultimately I think I would want to but that is from the mouth of someone who is still addicted and not long quit. I am hoping my resolve will grow stronger and I wont be tempted - even in Amsterdam. Only time will tell!

Thanks for your advice though guys. Take care, and I'll catch you on here soon no doubt!

Weedless xx