Benefits of quitting cannabis

I never was really ready to be so open-hearted like when i found this site...Firstly, i would like to congratulate to the creator of this site, and now to tell you my story...

I live in Croatia, in a small place with less than 2000 inhabitants. It's a beautifull place, but also on one side, it is a prison.... We don't really have a lot of options to live a social life here because everything that happens happens during the summer when we are overflown by tourism. The only normal way of socialising here is by drinking, drug abuse and such....If you like sports, movies, videogames, rock music....you won't be happy here, because you will either find yourself unwanted or without similar minds to hang out with....

I wrote a lot about myself in my profile, so if you want, please read it. My story began when I was 14 and first tryed a joint. I really didn't understand "the point" in all that....so i wasn't really attracted to it. I began drinking like an idiot just to be able to socialise eventhough im disgusted by any type of alcohol. Two years ago, when my life seemed it was falling apart, all my friends went somewhere else to study, or to work and i was left here all alone i started smoking dailly. As i wrote in the description of myself, I really am a very emotional and artistic being. I hate simplicity and masses that like things which in fact are really to plain and stupid. I like unusual ways of hitting on a girl , unusual ways of thinking and more than anything, dramatical situations.

When I started smoking, i felt like i found something to enhance my thoughts, my creativity, to lighten up myself and just to feel at peace. Well, I was wrong. I wasn't brave enough to admit to myself how all this got over my life and i wasn't really in control anymore. Just to be clear, if you smoke weed once-twice a month, Im completely up for that. It's just that i'm afraid i wont be able to control it. I always was in the belief that weed isn't addictive. Well i was wrong. You won't become an addict like it was heroine or something else but your life will succumb to it. Everything you do, everything you plan, and everything you think of will all be with weed in it. I never felt attracted to other drugs (thank you lord) like other people,  but also I wasn't aware of how weed controlled my life.

It's only two days now i didn't smoke and i feel very sad and depressed. Last night i thought i would throw up but i didn't actually eat anything the whole day because i didn't have any appetite. After that, i felt like my heart was beating faster than it was, but it wasn't. I tried to fall asleep, but i couldn't...I was so afraid of whats going with, and then realized that i didn't smoke weed today. I don't want to ever have to feel like yesterday, i'm afraid of becoming skinny and losing my appettite, I'm afraid of people thinking of me like I'm a stoner, I don't want the weed to kill my intelligence because my IQ is around 160 and it would be a shame if i became a plant...

All i want to know is how long do I have to wait before i can start thinking normal like before, and eat like before ? Because, now that i realise, i was more satisfied with myself without weed...

I

Hi Flower Bob,

Nice to have you on the site.  I can relate to your story, as I'm sure most people who are trying to quit have similar problems with it, whereve they are.  I can especially relate when you say about how "your life will succumb to it. Everything you do, everything you plan, and everything you think of will all be with weed in it".  It really does take over your life.

Well done at making it to two days, you should find that the sleeping and eating should get more normal over the next week or so, sleeping was pretty bad for me for a while, exercise does help.

I wish I could promise a fast change and recovery, but you have to stick with it and be patient, I'm on 39 days free now, and I am feeling so much better I can barely describe how big the change has been.

I was worried that I might have lost some of my intellectual assets, like you I'm a smart guy.  But it seems that there isn't permanent damage, given time you'll feel better than ever.  So stick with it, don't quit quitting.

I'd suggest reading older posts on this site, so many people's stories can be quite similar, you might find stuff you can relate to and which might be helpful.

thank you james for replying. actually, the only word i needed to explain how i feel was actually "Anxiety"...

i feel much better today, and really, so much better since i opened myself here. i just hope these hard days won't last much longer....

i remember four years ago...playing football (soccer) i pushed a man who is 195 cm tall and has 115KG of pure muscles (not overexagerating) over the line without a foul and stole the ball. That wouldn't be something special if I weren't 180cm tall and weighing 75kg. It's been a long time since i felt so much energy in body, i want that back, that's all...:(

Flower Bob - So glad you found this site.   I can tell you it has made all the different for me - I found a couple of other sites at the beginning - but almost immediately felt at home here - it's a small but caring group - Go back and read James' posts - he's a brilliant guy and can give you a lot of insight into the 'intellectual processes' that got us all here.

I have been weed-free for 7 weeks tomorrow, and while it may not be heroine, I am still surprised at the time it is taking to get it out of my system.  I - like you - thought that MJ wasn't addicting or I probably wouldn't have started 10 YEARS AGO!! - I know people who can take it or leave it - it was never like that for me. 

You've made a good choice to quit now - the first few days are really the hardest -

Is English the language or Croatia?  You're incredibly fluent.

Please keep posting - it helped me - hopefully we can help you.  You are certainly among friends.

Grandma

actually, Croatia has it's own language which is similar to the ones in Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Montenegro...I mean all the countries from the old Yugoslavia. 

I'm glad you think my English is very fluent and thank you for that. I actually am very fluent with german as well. We are at last a tourism oriented country, foreign languages are something we deal with every season.

It's 3:30am here, and i'm awake. Day 3 has passed. I actually must admit I'm not suffering from insomnia now...It's just that i'm surfing on the net, listening to some new music i discovered today (Starsailor band) and reading a lot on wikipedia and such. I haven't felt this urge to learn something new for a while, it's a great feeling.

I read alot of posts from other people, and have to admit you are right grandma. This group we have here is very small, but also very supportive. The same moment i saw James reply to my topic i felt really relaxed and my anxiety seemed to vanished in an instance. It's nice to see that someone can understand what you are going through without prejudice because most of people i tried to talk to didn't seem to take me for real...it seemed like no one i knew believed marijuana can cause addictivness. That was the same belief i had before going through these last couple of days...

Bob - glad you are up at 3 in the morning by choice!   I meant to mention earlier that Celtic is also my favorite music -   and I'm checking out Starsailor - love to find new music.  I'm in the U.S. - so the night is young!

Good luck on DAY 4 !!! 

Hi Bob,

I'm glad that my reply had such a positive effect!  It has been so useful to me and so important for my success to have read the accounts of others and to understand how serious this problem can be.  Even accepting that is a problem can be so difficult when people aren't taking it seriously and deny the addictive and problematic potential of the stuff.

It made me feel like some kind of hysterical idiot who was blowing things up out of proportion, which by reading others' stories I found was certainly not the case.  It might not be heroin, but that doesn't mean it's not harmful and addictive and a problem that shouldn't be addressed.

So stick with it, don't give up, if it takes a few day ones than don't give up.  There are success stories here and there are plenty of benefits if you persevere, so don't quit quitting.

I am also impressed with your language skills, and German as well??  My european neighbours always make me, a humble english man, ashamed at my failure to master other languages!

the same thought of blowing things out of proportion was going through my mind as well, james. I mean, i look at some other stories here and see how people have smoked for 20 and more years before deciding to quit, and then think

about my addiction which is not more than two years long...

But that is really true. I know a lot of people who wont accept some facts even though they are visible to everyone around them. I'm glad i saw what weed was doing to my life, and even more glad that i saw it in such a early stage. I can only imagine how hard it is to other people who were "playing the game" for decades....I just hope that all of us realize the real values of life, and find happiness in things that really are here for that...

Day 5 gone bye

Bob - most of us kept smoking because we didn't have the insights you have into what it was doing for our lives.  I would never even had sought out a sight like this, because I really didn't think it was a problem that anyone else in the world had!!! 

Keept it going.  It should be early morning of DAY 6 for you.  If you can make it through that first week, you can make it through anything!  Glad to know you're learning guitar - I played my way through my younger life and it was great therapy and an amazing source of self expression. 

Have a great day! -

guys, i dont know anymore if im in a crisis or is it something else. I hear on the news about the swine flu, a couple of people died already, the sun ain't shining here like it used to, i see less and less people on the streets...i feel depressed about everything, it's like everything is going mad as hell around me....

I'm afraid i'm starting to lose faith in the good of men, all the time i'm thinking is there anything worth living for...i don't know is it the weedless week or is it something else, i just feel like i need to talk to somebody, and don't have anybody to talk to

Bob - there is no question that there are a LOT of things in this world to be depressed about - weed just helped us numb our pain and care less about it.  The swine flu is raging where I live as well and people generally seem to be quite insane.  We have had several deaths, as well.  More troubling than that to me is the number of people in the U.S. who are buying weapons.  Insanity and  depression can seem contagious.  I know I'm not cheering you up much - but I do believe there is still a lot of good in the world - and it depends on people like you who are intelligent and caring.  Please don't give up on the quit - it won't make any difference to the insanity of the world - only to your own ability to make changes in your own life that will help you rise above it -

I'm always here to listen - some of our members are in crisis themselves right now - and we're here to hold each other up.

Please keep writing.  And PLEASE don't give up on your quit.  Drugs will do nothing to make the world better.

thank you grandma, you're words are simple yet very , very helpfull...And I agree with you, it's much harder without weed only because we are all used to being stoned, not caring and very ignorant...it's not like the world has gone insane in the past week, it has been so as well for the last two years...It's just that i forgot, i forgot what it means to be concerned, to be aware. All these feelings right now i'm dealing with are not new, they were there all the time, only i ignored them. And to think about it, if everyone in the world were stoned all the time, we would live in a society with false emotions, without ambition, without everything that gives us faith in mankind. Maybe it is easier to live like that on one hand, but it ain't our nature, and we most not succumb to it. Now when i look back and think about the times when i believed the world would be a much better place if everyone was high...what a false utopia

thank you again, everyone here, you're words are very comforting

i forgot to mention something earlier. I had a dream last night.

I had a dream really ^^. I can't remember it very well now, but i am positive i had a dream last night. I woke up today around 11AM, and was so happy I had a dream so i went to sleep another two hours. was nice for a change...

Until i arrived at this forum, i didn't even realize i hadn't been dreaming for a while. Then I fell into some thoughts, and realized how i missed that, even the bad ones. But last night I dreamt...

Bob - just googled "time in Croatia" and found a site that told me it's 3:13:06 !!!  So I hope you are DREAMING now!  It is a pretty amazing thing to dream again.  I didn't know I wasn't dreaming until about a year ago, and like you I find it more stimulating than disturbing.  Wait for the "relapse" dream - the one where you toke again and wake up feeling bad about it!:)

You are so far ahead of many of us.   To have you even write the words "faith in mankind" makes me feel you may be one that can, as Ghandi said "BE the change you wish to see in the world."  You give me hope.  

Thank you for quitting.  Please stay with it - and keep posting.  The forum has been a little quiet the past couple of days - I know there are many who check in every day without posting - and some that are going through their own crisis and cannot be with us right now - I speak for them, as well as myself when I tell you your quit is valuable not only to you - but to those who are looking for hope and inspiration to do this for themselves.  You have strengthened my resolve.  I see your experience of changing a simple light bulb to  brighten the darkness around you as something of a metaphor - you have done that for yourself as well.  May DAY 7 be full of light and understanding and move you in the direction of your waking dreams!

Bob, are you ok?? 

hi grandma, sorry i didnt keep in touch. 

i somehow managed to forget about weed or such in the last few days and am a little bit proud of it. its 10PM in croatia now, and my 12th day is passing by. I started sleeping more regularly but still have a little bit trouble of relaxing myself and can't close my eyes until i'm really really tired. But still a great improvement on that field i must admit.

Been alone at home for the last week cuz my older sister went to Germany to visit mom and dad (and buy me some stuff lol). I've been eating even better now thats shes gone. Mostly nutritious stuff such as baked eggs, chicken meat or burgers, rice etc. Started some daily exercise, pushups, lifting small weights (5-8kgs) just to do something and feel a lot better now. Its like in my mind i feel more satisfied as my arm muscles are not like in a 11year old boy's ^_^.

I dont know know if i mentioned earlier about me throwing the last stash i had left in the trash can (like 2-3 joints nothing much) just before going out. I felt so glad i did that even though i paid money for it before. Today I was drinking coffee with a friend and he just passed me some weed for a joint or two...but he didn't know i stopped and when i told him I'm at day 12 of rehab (it sounds funny you know saying that word for weed but still) he said he noticed me being happier and more energetic lately, but he didn't think it was because i stopped. I left that stash again somewhere, i'll give it perhaps tomorrow to these girls i'm going out with, but won't participate in it...I don't want to. I just remember how the first week was hard, and don't want to throw it all away. What kind of a person would i be then ? 

Bob - I always love it when people forget about us here and just have a LIFE!!!  Good for you - and good for you on having it in your hands and not smoking.   You're a better man than I am :0)!!  I'm still avoiding all contact - though I know I can't do that forever and will have to face it some day.  I'm just not ready to trust myself in that situation yet. 

I have a daughter who put herself through 'rehab' for alcohol abuse a year ago - and I don't think there is much difference between what she went through and what we are going through.  We certainly are  'rehabilitating' our lives.  -thanks for sharing your journey here - please keep posting when you can - it helps 'weaklings' like myself to see you build your psychological 'muscle' as well as your physical muscles.  You know there are many of us here who would have been 'dumpster diving' for that stash you threw away!! - I kid you not - I should be humiliated to say I'VE DONE IT - but now I can just laugh at my former self and it helps me realize the ridiculous things addiction can lead us to do! 

Keep on quitting! - and post when you can. 

Grandma

15 days behind me, and the most important thing is that i get lost sometimes in counting ^^. Old "friends" often call and ask if i want to smoke. I don't want to!! I didn't pass this hell of a two weeks just to throw it all in a fuckin trash can. After all the disappointments in my life i finally feel like i did something good for myself. 

Im a wreckage. It has nothing to do with weed, it's just that all my problems i had before i started smoking regularly came back...sadness, depression, nostalgia, disappointment in life...all i fought with before i started smoking. It all is torturing me again. But this time i will fight it with my own will, and not with weed. 

I hope that all of you are feeling better and stronger and wish you all the best in life. Don't give up. 

Hi Bob!   wel done on your day 15.  it's 1 am here and I'm just about to enter my day 10 i think (or 11? I'm alrady starting to loose count!)

I was feeling pretty low today too.  Lots of emotion and suppressed pain coming to the surface, but I now know I've got to let my emotions run and do what they need to do..

been listening to lots of Terry Callier today.. always good for reflection.. I posted a few links on my thread, but here's one just for you...  word for word, it could have been written for the recovering cannabis addict going through this emotional stage..

YouTube - Terry Callier - No More Blues (1998)

You will soon be blessed, with true happiness, and it could happen any day now..

Day 19 has passed. I don't know anymore if it's because of the lackness of weed or what but sometimes my mood is hard to control. Now, i sit in front of my laptop and again are thrown into some mindbuggling thoughts about things I shouldn't be worried about. And again, after a week or so am having problems falling asleep. I just can't relax enough. The easiest thing to do now would be to smoke a fatty and just fall asleep like a dead man....That is exactly whats going on in my head. Everybody is smoking nowadays, i sit with some random people today drinking coffee and they all are just talking about how good weed is...and yet they started smoking like yesterday...if i were to try to explain to them where it all can lead to, i know i would be laughed off, so i don't. I look at their naive faces when I'm trying to convince them that marijuana is addictive, and they just think i'm too paranoid. But on the other hand, the only way for them to see the truth is to wait...until they try to do like 10 days without it...that's when i realized. 

On the other hand i got back into college, they accepted my plea to give me back my right to study which i lost because i didn't like go to any classes for a year...lol I'm an idiot -_-