Benefits of quitting cannabis

You can get my background by reading "about me" in my member profile I guess.  Bottom line is that after years of dependence on prescription meds to control pain I have spent the last 10 years using cannabis on almost a daily basis.  Over the last two years I have tried several times to quit - with pretty much the same results most of you are experiencing.  I seem to be getting a message from the people around me, especially when I'm trying to quit - that they just can't deal with the cranky person I become and mightily resist my quitting.  My adult children buy weed for me if they think I need it, as does my husband.  Even talking about quitting terrifies him.  So I get the impression that without "pot" I'm not a person anyone wants to be around - and I find that really depressing.  I want to get back to the real me.  I feel like it's damaging, rather than helping my health, at this point, and I'm tired of hiding, tired of the smell, tired of feeling tired.  

I know this group is relatively new, but am so glad that you are all here.  Getting out to NA meetings is not possible - and since most of them seem to be meth addicts, I don't feel a strong sense of empathy for those of us on "soft" drugs.

I am determine that, within the next months I'll be able to post in the still empty

"success story" section.  I have to make it work this time! 

I have to laugh at myself sometimes - I was a child of the 60's but never got into pot - I waited till I turned 50!!!  I have a brother-in-law who is struggling with heroine addiction that started in his 50's - just to let you know, it's not just young

people who get sucked in.   

Thank you all for sharing - I've read all the posts.  This is a very vulnerable thing to do and I am so drawn in by the total honesty.   So here I go again - 12 hours isn't much to brag about - but it's a start.

wow you're the "cool grandma" . Sorry had to say it. In all serious though, of course it's possible for you to quit. It does take over a month to feel more stable mentally, but there are good days mixed in with the bad and the first week is the worst. That is a difficult situation when your family provides you with weed and you feel like they want to keep you stoned. I had a hard time for years to quit because it was always around. Maybe you can talk to your family and next time they bring you a bag, say really dont want it. I'm not the best person to talk about willpower. It was so much easier for me to quit this time, because its not always around me. I could get a bag, but I'd have to wait a couple days and I just don't want to waste my mind anymore. This weekend, it will be two months and I never really think about getting high. Ok maybe the thought crossed my mind, but the strong urges are gone. You probably will have to find some kind of healthy alternative to your pain, or you will always turn to weed for relief. Yoga-maybe? It's tough in America because right when you go to the doctor, they just give you pills. Maybe there's a non-narcotic alternative though or something holistic. You should concentrate on the benifits of why you want to quit. For me right now, I like to learn and study and have a clear mind. i also don't like to depend on 'outside substances' so much to the point where i spend so much money on it and it's just a feeling, that's not real. Feels like I'm not really living when i'm high and i always think about how i can quit. Being sober is a less intense but at least it's real, i understand how you feel about NA-it never worked for me. I always felt weird about having a weed problem amoung crack and meth heads. There is MA though if you live in California. Good luck and keep us posted !

yes - I've had my fun watching the looks on peoples faces when I go buy myself a new pipe!   In Europe I travel with an old wooden shank pipe and people just think I'm an eccentric old lady!  It hasn't helped that my husband is from Utrecht, so we get to Amsterdam a lot! - and where I live in Oregon it is medicinally legal, so there are

growers everywhere.   I guess I have to resolve that it will always be available, like cigarettes.  I have cleaned out the cupboards, thrown away the pipes, etc.   I have to make it work this time. 

I actually have a daughter who is an herbalist in San Francisco and is helping me a lot with teas - even sent me 'herbal smokes' as an alternative, but I think that just perpetuates the habit.  I'm certainly going to explore all my options, but have given myself permission to just take it easy for a few days - try not to vicitimize the people around me!!! (oh I get cranky!!!)  Perhaps recognizing the reason for it all - and just reading here that other people experience the same things is helpful.  A long discussion with my hubby has him supportive, but apprehensive.   It's just too easy for him to say "go have a smoke" when I am dealing with pain or stress.  

I can't tell you how much it means to me that you responded - to know that there are other people out there who have the same struggle. . .that there are real human voices out there in cyberspace!  I find myself worrying about the people who haven't posted in a few days - hoping they are alright.   And SO wishing to see some things pop  up in the successes column - you should put something there, just for the record!

You give me hope.  

Its nice to think I've successfully quit, but its so easy to slip back. (well not so much here as in the U.S). I can tell you for sure that my mood swings are less than ever and if I do fly into a rage, I don't hang on to my anger like I used to. Weed really messed with my mind over the years and I really thought I had bi-polar or borderline as I said before. Now it has leveled out and I dont even feel depressed, even though depression and suicide run in my family. Quitting weed has been the best anti-depressant. It is easier that i'm not around it as i keep saying, it's not an option to escape if something goes wrong in my life. I never jones, but if i knew it was around, i wouldn't stop thinking about it. So its strange how the addicition is so much in the mind.

I dont know where u live in oregon, but u might see if there's a meeting near you http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/meetor.shtml and here's in Portland http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/meetdt11.shtml

Good luck!!

Day two - and I actually feel really good!!  Had a good chat with dear husband last night.  After reading the MA pages, the sentence "when did the drug turn on you?"  really struck me. That's exactly how I feel - over time it's become my enemy instead of my friend.  He seemed to understand that.

The irony is that my two step-daughters (his children) are addicts - one to alcohol the other meth, cocaine, whatever she can get her hands on.  My husband and I have been raising the child of the 2nd one - he's now 10 and was born with hypoplastic left heart (5 open heart repairs so far and a transplant in his future).    Anyway, I feel like he is finally on board and ready to be supportive - just doesn't want to be victimized by my recovery. 

Thanks for your support.  I AM going to make it.  Amazing how a few words of encouragement from someone who's been there is so helpful.  I wish there were more people here......

Day 3!!  I am going to make it this time.  Getting rid of everything is so key for me - if it's there, I'll smoke it.  Having a stash waiting for me anywhere is a recipe for FAILURE.   had a deep, REM sleep last night and  a hard time waking up! - I haven't had that wonderful, drug free drowsy for years!!  Last night I had about an hour of anxiety - just hearing my husband say "if this doesn't work you can always go back to it".....which makes you start thinking , well, if it's not going to work I might as well just buy a bag now and start over!  Hence I deleted my dealers # from my phone!  I know where he lives - and on previous failed attempts I have actually gone to his house and left a note on his door, making up some excuse about losing my phone with his # on it.  Crazy the things I've done!   It's amazing I've never been arrested.  I've smoked in airport bathrooms, in train bathrooms (strictly forbidden in the U.S. as well).   I've flown a number of times (even internationally) with it  stashed in my luggage in various ways - always successfully.  I won't share my tactics because I've really just been lucky and I don't want anyone trying some of them!   I've had it sent to me in the mail on several occasions - just flirting with disaster.   I won't miss all that anxiety and stress - which is really worse than anything I've experienced thus far - I may change my tune in a day or two, but for today I CAN DO THIS!

hi grandma , i just found this site via your post 10 mins ago .  I have also decided to quit for good as of today . cannabis smoking has been robbing me of my life too long . I can't go on like this. well done for quitting 3 days . u should be very proud of ur self .

good luck grandma , I will keep reading your story .

Way to go Grandma on the 4 days now! The worst is getting behind you :)I have relapsed on cigarettes since yesterday, but will quit again tomorrow. Had to buy more patches. This is the 3rd box. Each 7 day box costs 24 euros so hopefully I'll stay quit this time. I had quit for 7 yrs and didn't think I'd smoke cigs ever again. But then I smoked a hash cigarette and when the hash ran out, I kept smoking the cigarettes. I'm not too worried about the quit this time, because I know its possible. Except last time, I was under the guise of never again and for 7 years I believed it, so i hope to just find motivation inspite of the failure.

I should have been arrested too at some point- used to smoke everywhere. Like leave a university class to take a hit out of the bathroom window or take a hit somewhere extremely risky, but was confident I wouldn't get caught bc people just wouldnt expect someone to do that. I think I liked weed alot too because I was doing something 'wrong' and that type of thing always appealed to me. Then there's the self-destructive part. Finally, I am thinking that I do deserve to be happy and healthy...but I think relapsing on cigarettes is no coincidence.

Have a great weed-free weekend September and Grandma...just remember that all the thoughts on getting high is just your addiction speaking. So if you do start craving, just change the subject in your head and think about something else, because your mind can only think about one topic at a time. Even if it means, getting up and doing something. Don't worry the relentless craving thoughts definately ease off and you will be able to move on with your lives-just have to get by these first weeks. BUT its a couple of weeks of hell for the rest of your life. Even if you relapse, the thought will always be in your head that soon you must quit, so why bother relapsing and starting over. Just stay quit and eventually you will feel better or you will see what your problems really are underneath the weed use, so you can deal with that instead of just numbing out.

good luck!! youCAN do it!

WharfRat - you just can't know how much it means to me to hear your encouraging words.   I am starting to feel better, and my lungs are starting to clear up - coughing up some pretty yucky crud - which was one of my main motivations for quitting.  I have a 35 year old daughter who is now on oxygen 24/7 - it's made me think a lot about how I was taking my lungs for granted.  I sort of need them!!!   And I love your phrase "numbing out" - exactly what I've been doing for 10 years! 

My last trip to Amsterdam I bought a prerolled joint that was

mixed with tobacco.  That was about two years ago and I have NOT been able to smoke weed since without mixing it -  - double jeoprady for the lungs.  I'm sure that my age

has been a factor - older bodies just aren't as resiliant!   There is a drug (Chantix in the U.S.)  that blocks the tobacco receptors and seems to work well - you take it for a week while you are smoking and it totally blocks the effects of the nicotine and supposedly makes it easier to quit.   Tobacco has to be the hardest because it's just so easy to get and totally legal.   I'm sad that you see your relapse as "failure" -  you seem to have a real good handle on things.    My hubby smoked for 20  - quitting every few years,  but found that each time he went back he smoked more - half pack when he first quit - then started back at a pack a day - quit and started back at 2 packs a day until he finally  quit for good.   Even after 20 years he knows how easy it would be to start again.  Fortunately for me, cigs just don't do it for me (without a little weed mixed in!)  

Day 4 is going good, so far - but I have to just stop and take a deep breath every once in a while and remind myself that it's all good.  Anger seems to be an issue for me,  and I just have to go sit somewhere quiet  and clear my mind.  You're so right about controlling your thoughts.  If you start to obsess about it, it's really easy to let it take over if you don't divert yourself.  Other quits I would be out digging through the garbage for my pipes, scraping them out and smoking the resin by now!   - just because I gave into those thoughts.  Not this time - and thank you for reinforcing that for me.

Have a GREAT weekend - and lets both spend next week smoke free!   You're a gem for taking time to encourage me.

I think being able to share this has made a huge difference for me. 

Day 6  woot woot!!!    I am doing this!!!!  I know that probably doesn't sound like much - and I've certainly gone longer without before - but not with the resolve that I was DONE .  I always left the option open.  Not now.   The dreams, the sweating, the anxiety  are still a better option than the constant self-loathing and feelings of failure.  

Congratulations, you're doing well.  I hope in a week or so I'll be able to report similar sucess.

Day 7 - turning back is not even an option for me, at this point in time. . . but I have to say that after so many failed attempts I'm amazed at myself.    I've learned so much from everyone here - THANKS to all of you - please have courage.  We can get through this together.   Today I've felt horrid all day, sleepy then restless and anxious, the exhausted again.  Detox, I'm guessing - feels more physical than emotional.

Thanks James - I hope to hear a lot more from you. 

Day 8 - worst day so far - lots of emotional stress, lots of physical pain (I suffer from a kidney disease that most people have implanted morphine pumps for and have a prescription for medical cannibas instead).   I don't have a good plan B, so this may just be a matter of learning to live with the pain.  In the long run, it is less debilitating than the addiction.  I started using because it was my best non-traditional option, having spent many, many years on dozens of different pain meds - all addicting.  Tonight I'm thinking that my quitting isn't making much sense - I know I'll feel different in the morning.  Right now I just wish I could be unconscious for a few days.  Sorry I'm not more hopeful - still not going to call my dealer, but I have a feeling I have a long night ahead of me.  My best to all of you (my best isn't worth much right now - sorry)

Hello, I don't know what the time is over there but I hope you made it through the night.  I've been reflecting on this and I realise that I have actually experienced withdrawl, but put it down to other things.

I spent five days in hospital (for surgery) last month and went a little bit crazy, I've never known such insomnia!

It is really especially hard on those who have problems that are still going to plague them after they quit.  Once past the first rough stages I anticipate mainly benefits, so I really feel for you.  Keep up the good work!

Don't quit quitting.

keep it up grandma hope you made it through the night

hope u are ok, grandma!!!! thinking of u!

25thsept - wharf rat, james - I wish I could give you both a big hug.  Thank you for sharing - thank you for CARING.  It means so much to me.  Hope you are doing well today.   I've made it toDAY 10!!!!!!! - thanks in large part to being able to come here.  Blessings and hugs to all of you.  WE can all do this.